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s t o r i e s | p h o t o g r a p h y | m o v i e s | a b o u t |
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11.14.2007 | 22:21 | on wowowee: "sa sesame street, anong hayop si kermit?" "CRAB!" kermit the crab? weeell, i suppose it rhymes. 11.13.2007 | 17:07 | thanks to this, i now know i could never pull off blonde locks. without enduring public humiliation for my curiosity.11.11.2007 | 18:29 | our christmas party has a hip-hop theme. clearly, the party committee did not realize how scary that idea is for thirty-forty-somethings. it might as well be a bikini party.8.15.2007 | 19:59 | my seven-year old's favorite restaurant at the mall of asia is 'astrocats'. meow!9.19.2006 | 16:44 | a book so good that national bookstore hasn't put copies on the shelves yet in fear of the deadly stampedes that will follow.7.12.2006 | 17:56 | this is coming to the philippines. we are officially a first world country.2.01.2006 | 07:56 | looking at this poster, i believe the more apt title is "don't you dare mess up my make-up". the line could have been said by either one.1.31.2006 | 00:42 | yey! i have officially received the book/movie rights to this.11.29.2005 | 22:50 | our neighbor's new baby girl is named ysabel. her nickname's ysy. pronounced the same way as "easy". i don't think they thought out their daughter's name very well.11.02.2005 | 07:13 | i found all three of my children laughing hysterically over a complicated train network that took them a few hours to put together. at closer inspection, they were tossing lego men in front of the speeding trains and shouting "ooops, accident!" maybe i should be concerned -- but for now, i'm glad they stopped drawing on the white bed sheets.9.21.2005 | 19:34 | today's melchor-ism: "you should know by now, i'm o.c." "ano yun? orange county?" "che! LOOK IT UP." "huh? L.I.U. yun a." he was just trying to make me smile, folks. or as it was, piss me off.9.15.2005 | 03:36 | i'm the featured pinoy blog over here. yay!9.13.2005 | 17:34 | the hypertension medicine i have to take everyday looks EXACTLY like a laxative tablet i keep in the cabinet for "emergencies". i found out the hard way.9.01.2005 | 18:59 | my balikbayan sister got me a cute pedometer to assist my damn-i'm-getting-old-so-might-as-well-start-living-healthier project. unfortunately, on the days i managed 10,000 steps (the daily goal) while my sis has been in the country, half were from walking up and down the makati shangrila lunch buffet. **burp**8.29.2005 | 04:47 | the latest issue of pinoy expats is now on-line! as is my humble contribution. :)8.15.2005 | 17:59 | diego found me with my hand inside his lollipop jar. "hey! you can't eat that! you're not a kid! you're a DOLT!" i suppose most adults are. :)8.12.2005 | 01:24 | for his homework, my son was asked to use bird in a sentence. he wrote: "the girl pet our bird." one has to be five years old to get away with that.8.11.2005 | 03:35 | my house has been undergoing a complete painting/repair job. my house is now almost completely white. it's so white, it's almost transparent. redecorating the transparent house has also been draining my creative mojo, so ...7.28.2005 | 04:14 | what friends are for. thanks, a.m.!7.16.2005 | 05:48 | read it. most of the book was a set-up for the next installment -- which should be the best of the lot from the feel of it.7.02.2005 | 22:38 | yey! pinoy expats featured one of my stories! thanks, anp!6.26.2005 | 22:50 | success! after putting it off for a year, my family history research site has just been facelifted!6.23.2005 | 03:12 | it bugs me sore how my 21-month old daughter has yet to learn how to say her name after two months of my unrelenting coaching; but when a stray taho vendor walked by our street announcing his wares, she echoed his "tahoooo!" like a pro. pasaway!6.19.2005 | 18:54 | one mall had a fathers' day gimmick -- the "shoot dad ball" hoops contest. at first glance, i read it as "shoot dad" contest and chuckled at why so many kids were signing up.6.17.2005 | 00:30 | i laughed so hard reading this, i fell off my chair and injured myself. i'm going to sue mcvie now ...6.14.2005 | 19:52 | asar na ko sa inyo! sa inyong lahat! pag nagyaya na naman kayo tumambay sa edsa shrine e mag-e-NPA na talaga ako! marami na akong red outfits, shoes and purses, 'no!6.13.2005 | 04:26 | stumbling into "third sex in the city" is like finding the manual to a language you've always wanted to speak fluently but haven't started learning yet. side bar pa lang, tawa na na ko nang tawa! i especially love "punchlines of the week". [via sisig]6.10.2005 | 18:38 | i love the one-liners on the t-shirts of bok -- the bald-headed alaskador on studio 23's barkada trip: "bakit is alma moreno?", "what does henry sy?", "why is lucio tan?", "when will orlando bloom?", "where does sandara park?", "why is marvin gaye?", "is chow yung fat?". i hope they start marketing a whole line of it.6.08.2005 | 18:09 | i love mariah carey's song "we belong together". however, if the hot guy in the video (er, NOT eric roberts) had a spoken line, i think it ought to be: "kamusta na po kayo, tiyang?"6.05.2005 | 15:34 | so why did my husband and i spend thirty minutes watching kris aquino tell the whole world a secret that wasn't exactly a secret? same reason we slow down on highways to check out road accidents.6.03.2005 | 03:29 | i lost myself today in a movie i have not seen since the 80's -- "footloose". any film featuring sarah jessica parker waaay before she met a good stylist, chris penn when his abs still had definition, and kids who thought "the robot" was a cool dance move, is worth 107 minutes of my life. the fact i still knew the lyrics to the entire soundtrack was an added amusement. saya!5.20.2005 | 16:12 | i love yoda because he's wise, he's cute (in a wrinkly dog way) and he can light saber any bad guy to confetti. he can lift x-wing fighters with his mind and quadruple somersault over and over during a sword fight. so tell me again, why does he NEED to hitch piggy back rides with wookiees?5.15.2005 | 02:10 | my one-year old daughter has figured out how to open the combination lock on my make-up kit; but continues to open zip-lock bags by tearing them open with her teeth. genius-in-progress. :)5.13.2005 | 05:18 | i am pissed about having to scoop dog dung from the driveway in the mornings. especially since our dog died weeks ago! now i wonder whose "business" we've been taking care of all this time.5.12.2005 | 01:40 | my team won!5.10.2005 | 17:05 | my son diego saw my wedding pictures and said, "wow, mommy! you're a princess!" good thing he reminded me -- i forget that often. :-)5.09.2005 | 10:05 | the momentary lack of new stories here has much to do with my seasonal need to nest. yep, i'm repainting and redecorating my house again.5.07.2005 | 15:47 | a young guy fearlessly surfing p0rn sites at an internet station beside mine got a call from his mother. he says he'll be late for dinner because he's "doing research." :-D4.29.2005 | 20:06 | an old friend. a kindred spirit. a great idea. permission to use a term i coined lovingly granted.4.25.2005 | 00:36 | i was flagged down by a traffic cop yesterday for beating a red light (because i really did). i was sooo ecstatic -- not because i ALMOST got a ticket (i talked the cop out of it -- no bribes). it's because the man said: "miss, mukhang nagmamadali ka. huli ka na ba sa klase mo?". it felt as good as walking into a bar and still getting carded. ;D4.19.2005 | 22:49 | hell is not being able to get this out of your head.4.15.2005 | 07:38 | so tell me again, richard, what the f are you doing marching at anti-vat rallies when, you don't pay taxes? i hope they throw you once-taut arse in jail.4.09.2005 | 06:49 | my claim of being unbiased on gender issues was challenged when i heard my son running with his friends screaming, "i am alice! i am alice! i am alice!" what the ... as in the girl in wonderland? i breathed a little easier when he meant this alice pala. still, methinks i may be a hypocrite.4.06.2005 | 03:52 | being the scorching summer that it is, i bought one of these for my drive home from my store. on the highway, i started choking on the tapioca. it took two strong coughs to get it out of my esophagus. it is really sick how i then began to wonder, if the unspeakable did happen, if mel could explain to my relatives, with a straight face, how his wife "sucked too hard and choked on balls." like i said, i'm sick.4.02.2005 | 19:00 | driving by a huge sign by a nearby mall, i asked diego if he wanted to watch a movie. eager to show off his reading skills, he chose the one with the longest title. "i want to see THAT movie: 'mass on sat and sun'."4.01.2005 | 03:49 | i just re-read the email i sent my older sister this morning: "i must be pms-ing or something -- kasi every time i think na cuervo is no longer around to sniff our butts, naiiyak ako." to clarify, i am sad because our pet of 8 years is gone -- not because i need my butt sniffed.3.29.2005 | 04:10 | our x-dog is no more. rest well, cuervo -- my friend, my teacher.3.28.2005 | 03:24 | my father lent my 2 boys his complete set of "police academy" dvd's, which they have been watching over and over for days. this has been torture on me -- it must be part of my dad's elaborate plan of revenge because i missed greeting him on fathers' day in 2001. today, instead of "good morning", diego greeted my husband with "freeze, dirtbag!"3.26.2005 | 07:00 | this definitely has entertainment potential. i should know -- i helped set it up. you kids are useless without me, j.3.16.2005 | 09:03 | thank you for being a welcome lurker in my life.3.14.2005 | 19:14 | if i fall down the stairs or get into some kind of accident during the telecast of the pacquiao-morales fight this week end, i will have wait until after the fight before my husband drives me to the e.r. -- i am mentally prepared for it.3.09.2005 | 22:13 | mel and i decided we'll be going to our friend ramon's inaguration mass on sunday -- inspite of the fact that it will be four hours long and will probably involve a whole lot of chanting. we've known ramon for 20 years now and he is diego's godfather. besides, it's always nice to have a friend/priest we could call on to do weddings ... or baptisms ... or exorcisms ...3.08.2005 | 20:16 | an old friend who has been in the seminary for several years, invited mel and me to his first mass as a deacon this weekend. a FOUR-hour catholic mass slash induction ceremony. mel asks me: "pwede kayang humabol na lang sa reception?"3.07.2005 | 08:18 | my sis quoted something to me in a text message ... something that made her laugh ... words she thought i could have written -- "entombing your giant arse in black won't make it disappear." she was also probably trying to tell me something. :D3.05.2005 | 06:33 | "stand down" -- i always hear that term in macho flicks; but how does one do it exactly? i asked my son to "stand down" and he gave me a half-kneel, one-foot-up, arms-skewed pose. i plan to snap a photo of it as soon as i stop laughing.3.02.2005 | 06:41 | on today's evening news, the man who retracted his confession of torching an abs-cbn news van, declared in a televised interview, that he was not guilty of arson -- only murder (an unrelated case). i got one word for this guy: getaf*ckinglawyerdumbass.2.21.2005 | 21:16 | carlo is unusually strong. diego is irresitably cute. lisa is gifted with cunning beyond her year(s). if i have another kid who turns out to be bonkers, i'll be living with the "a-team" -- b.a. baracus, face man, hannibal and mad murdock.2.18.2005 | 08:05 | reading this makes me miss the journal part of this site (what used to be 'dailies'). **sigh** i miss making fun of family.2.16.2005 | 05:58 | the lady ahead of me in the grocery store line bought one loaf of sliced bread and 50 condoms. just the essentials for her, i gather.2.14.2005 | 01:09 | my daughter is a rocker. here's unrehearsed (i swear!) proof.2.11.2005 | 18:43 | thanks to dreamboy and let the love begin, my store sales tripled today. mabuhay ang pelikulang pilipino! just don't expect me to cough up P100 to see the damn things...2.09.2005 | 21:53 | when you have a name like candy or tweetums or sweepea or beautiful, you better be cute even when your 42. otherwise, it's just damn scary.2.08.2005 | 05:36 | the dragon dancers hired to drive away bad luck at our place of business this chinese new year were so bad, i think they were in fact, bubuli dancers.2.06.2005 | 00:16 | i saw an orthopedic surgeon about pain in my foot i've been nursing since november; but is not healing. the verdict is, i can no longer wear heels taller than one inch -- most likely, FOREVER! that was equivalent to telling me he had to amputate!1.31.2005 | 07:35 | my 16-month old daughter learned to climb out of her crib today. i saw her pull herself up with her arms and then use her toes to push herself up the vertical bars. lisa may have a future in gymnastics or high-stakes robbery.1.30.2005 | 07:24 | i was going to give up this page -- but i started to miss it too much. so it's back!12.19.2004 | 17:58 | lisa spent a good part of the morning flipping through a cosmo while munching on an oatmeal cookie. yes, she's one.12.13.2004 | 21:42 | my baby just discovered vicks vaporub -- and loves it! my husband is so overjoyed that lisa now shares his substance abuse problem.12.12.2004 | 05:58 | while making our christmas list, diego tugged my arm and reminded me to get a gift for santa claus. sweet.12.10.2004 | 05:49 | someone said i have a rabelaisian sense of humor. what the *bleep* does that mean exactly? anyone?12.07.2004 | 20:51 | just saw the scariest thing. a 40ish overweight woman with bleached blonde hair grocery shopping in a flimsy silk sleeveless top. without a bra. oh the nightmares i'm getting tonight!12.05.2004 | 07:13 | 'found carlo and diego hunched over the baby's crib, laughing at how lisa's legs are so 'fat'. the seed of my daughter's body image issues has been sown.11.16.2004 | 06:45 | the glue my son's school gave them to use for art class has the seal of approval from the bureau of food and drug. it's disturbing how what was meant to reassure parents is soo not doing the job..11.08.2004 | 14:57 | 1 baby with excellent concentration + 6 inches of very sticky tape = 30 minutes of slapstick comedy a mother should be guilty for.11.04.2004 | 02:42 | wanna see a molehill turn into a **bleep**ing mountain? can be alternatively called sh*t hitting the fan.10.29.2004 | 11:11 | "spirit questors" on TV warn that we should visit our dead relatives this season. or else, they will visit us. heck, i'm all for that -- they don't have to sit in traffic, while i do.10.27.2004 | 21:17 | the man at city hall taking my tax payment was snacking on peanuts. a nut then fell and lodged itself in the keyboard causing panic and mayhem. it took 4 bureaucrats and 15 minutes to get it out. reaching through the hole in the glass and flipping the keyboard upside down would have been faster, but i wouldn't have anything to blog about.10.25.2004 | 07:35 | sm megamall painted the floors in their in-door parking structure. when you turn a corner, your car tires will make a screeching that sounds like someone farting while seated on a leatherette couch. it's worse than nails on a blackboard.10.18.2004 | 11:31 | a good day is one when you realize you need new holes in your belt. in the right direction. (yes!)9.09.2004 | 03:42 | suspicious of well-disguised spam, i never open emails coming from people named "dick" and "willie" -- totally forgetting that i know several dick's and willie's. hehe, sorry about that ...9.06.2004 | 02:18 | note to all music video producers -- any video with a bunch of mimes is not a good idea. it makes viewer's teeth itch.9.03.2004 | 04:53 | my period must be coming up. i got teary-eyed when diego started singing "perfect" by simple plan. it's the hormones.9.02.2004 | 04:45 | my boys convinced me to re-enact black eyed peas' "hey mama" video. i think i threw my back trying to move like fergie. i feel like i just got run over by the 'midlife express'.8.12.2004 | 02:14 | in "ella enchanted", cary elwes did a grave injustice to all evil movie villain everywhere for his sorry performance -- what's with the blubbering? my sweet wesley, what have you done?8.11.2004 | 02:08 | someone emailed me about how my site would be much better if i added recipes. recipes?! where the hell did that come from?! clearly, he has me confused with someone who expertly commands kitchen tools and appliances, aside from the can opener and the microwave.8.09.2004 | 19:41 | my pc repair guy -- the one who does home service -- busted his phone. so if i want him to repair my pc which my children murdered, i have to EMAIL him. pc dead ... email .. if only i didn't need the work files in my machine like yesterday, i'd find this really, really funny.7.28.2004 | 16:28 | what is more irritating than a movie screen in a theater going blank at the film's climax? a couple of high school girls chanting "disk 2! disk 2!"7.26.2004 | 19:37 | after downing a particularly large spoonful of ice cream, diego grabbed his head in momentary pain and explained, "i have brain fleas." how cute is that?!7.25.2004 | 20:33 | my son advised me that we ought to "pimp our ride". like many parents who have come before me, have i officially become un-cool to my son?7.24.2004 | 19:38 | i liked "king arthur" as it had a novel (historical?) spin on a classic tale which had been done far too many times. but no viewer should ever be forced to get THAT intimate with an actor's pores. ever.7.23.2004 | 18:50 | it takes someone else to see what i forget a lot these days. domo ...7.20.2004 | 19:38 | mabuhay ang mga walang bayag! eh, eunuch sounds better.7.17.2004 | 19:37 | seeing kc concepcion's palmolive shampoo billboard (the one where her face peeks from behind perfectly straight hair and her shoulders are thrown back in an unattractive attempt to achieve the illusion of thinness) along edsa, i am haunted by a gnawing question, "photoshop?"7.14.2004 | 18:37 | never watch "sex in the city" dvd's with the subtitles showing when you have a 4-year old child very eager to prove he can read. or you'll get a teeny tiny boy jumping around saying "f*ck me. f*ck me." yeahyeahyeah, so i'm a sometimes-bad mother ...7.11.2004 | 18:14 | the best of filipino tv news: "kinukulam ho kayo." "paano nyo po alam?" "mas mahaba yung isang daliri nyo sa paa."6.26.2004 | 18:52 | amen, brother j: "if only the philippine stock market was anything like my blood pressure."6.22.2004 | 06:45 | remember my 297 dream? the philippine lotto 4-digit draw ran 9-2-2-7 yesterday. i may be kinda psychic afterall.6.21.2004 | 03:52 | last night, i dreamt i weighed 297 pounds. as in i stepped on a scale and saw the numbers! god, i hope i'm not psychic ...6.13.2004 | 00:59 | my 4-year old asked my 11-year old, "what's frenzy?" they had just seen the ad of the condom brand -- the one where couples were gyrating in a music store. the older, more worldly brother explained, "it's a band." **get into it! get into it!**6.07.2004 | 15:30 | they don't love me around here (thus the pop-ads on constipation even if i pay for hosting). i've moved out. kindly update your links -- thanks! |
